WHAT IS BETTER WAYS TO SETTING BOUNDARIES AS A CHRISTIAN
Do you have people who are stressing you out due to lack of boundaries? Friends, colleagues, family members, then you really need to set some boundaries. You can set boundaries to protect yourself from getting hurt or from getting stressed emotionally without breaking the relationship. But before you go ahead to set boundaries as a Christian, you need to know what boundary is.
So what are Christian boundaries?
Christian boundaries are limit you set in love just to define where people are, what they mean and what they can do to you. Boundaries help you define yourself. Boundaries help you know the things you have to do and your responsibilities and it also help you determine the things that are not your responsibility.
Even God set boundaries with human from the beginning of the creation. He told them what they can do and what they can’t do, and also gave them consequences if they break the boundary. He gave them their place, so they know their responsibilities.
Despite the fact that God gave humans boundaries, He still loves us. So you too can set boundaries with other people and still love them. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean closing people off, it just a way of putting them where they belong.
So how do you set boundaries?
Know Where You Stand
You can’t set boundaries without knowing where you stand. So you need to know yourself and your limit, physically, emotionally and spiritually before you can set boundaries. You need to know the things you can tolerate, the things you can accept, and things that stresses you out physically and emotionally.
Learn To Say “NO” Without Feeling Guilty
When people make you do things or make you run errands that are not your responsibility, learn to say “NO”. Although saying ‘no’ when you have always been saying ‘yes’ may make the other people feel offended, but you have to take your stand. Do not feel guilty about it. Remember, what they ask you to do, or give to them is not in your place to do in the first place; it is not your responsibility. Just be free and let it go, with time they will get use to it.
Be Direct and Clear
Be direct and clear in your relationship with others. Having a direct and clear dialogue with some people will help you set healthy and sustainable boundaries. Let them know where they stand in your life; let them know the things they can do to you and the things they can’t. Even Jesus set boundaries for His disciples. He was always direct and clear when addressing them. So be Christ-like.
Be Respectful And Kind About It, But Be Firm
It is good to have a calm and respectful tone when setting boundaries. The fact that you need to be direct and clear doesn’t mean you have to do it without respect for other people feelings. One of our attribute as a Christian is to be kind and respectful. So set boundaries with respect and kindness, but stand on your feet and say “NO” to what you won’t take.
You are a valuable individual, you are precious to God, so your thought, decision and feelings matters. Nobody has the right to define your life for you; God put you in charge of your life, so you own it. Be free to set appropriate boundaries and take it seriously.
May God help you!