HOW TO START DATING AS A CHRISTIAN YOUTH
It is challenging to determine the nature of dating today. The ever-changing technology compounded the never-ending trouble of finding out how to find a future partner. For Christians looking for a marriage partner, these difficulties are compounded. For men and women, Christian dating advice is always difficult to find. What’s Christian Dating?
New Technology – A Whole New World
There was a time when a guy would just approach a woman on a date to ask her out. This may involve obtaining her telephone number. But, technology has, and continues to change the dating landscape.
What Exactly is Dating?
There is a great importance to understand the nature of Christian dating better alas, the reason for a clarification of what dating truly mean. Dating is the phase in which a person deliberately spends time with a person in whom they are attracted, in order to get to know them better.
Urban Dictionary describes dating as, “when two people attracted to each other spend time together to see if they can both afford to be around each other most of the time, if this is successful they build a relationship.”
Today’s notion of “date” doesn’t describe the end goal of the date. Some can think of the target as marriage. Yet some might think that “being in an intimate relationship” is the ultimate target. This does not come as a surprise; many find it difficult to understand the true meaning of dating today.
The word “dating” could be used as a verb to describe the casual meetings that two individuals have to get to know each other. The dates-on method will help each party determine whether they want to be exclusive to their relationship. Once a couple decides to see each other only, they could describe themselves as “dating” or in a “dating relationship.”
What is Christian Dating?
Anyone who asks, “What is Christian dating?” should be mindful that Christian dating is somewhat different from conventional dating. Christian dating has a simple goal, end goal, and direction. It is important to realize that Christian dating isn’t for everybody. In fact, some may believe they are adopting the “Christian Dating” values, but they are not, in reality. It is important, therefore, to understand for whom Christian dating is.
3 Groups Should Consider Christian Dating:
Christian Dating is for Christians, which can sound obvious. Nevertheless, Christian dating is a kind of romantic relationship that two Christians indulge in. Just because two persons are Christians and dating, this does not necessarily means their relationship suit the standard of “Christian Dating.”
Christian Dating is for those that are considering themselves as followers of Jesus Christ: Many consider themselves as Christians but they don’t live like Christ. Which means they’re not subjecting their lives to Jesus’ leadership. Those in a genuine Christian dating relationship will try to orient their lives to Jesus’ leadership.
Christian Dating is for those with a worldview that is Biblical: Christian dating is for those who profess a Biblical worldview. This means they accept that the Bible reflects the reality of God and the correct way of life on earth.
When a person doesn’t fit into these three categories, then it may seem confusing or frustrating to think about Christian dating. Any debate on the topic does not make sense and sound like a bunch of rules that a person has no reason to obey.
Goal of Christian Dating
Those who consider Christian dating should be aware that it has a clear goal of lifelong marriage. The goal is not to live together or to be in an “engaged relationship.” The purpose of the Christian dating process is to decide whether you would like to marry the person with whom you spend time with.
Naturally, this question is changing the dating process. Instead of “just having fun,” and not thinking about the future, those interested in Christian dating understand the need to decide if they might see themselves marrying their dating partner. If the response is “no,” then the dating relationship should be stopped as soon as possible to prevent needless pain and heartbreak.
A Christian Dating Guideline
Any advice offered to those who do not believe themselves to be Jesus’ Biblically-based followers may be irritating. But, those who call themselves Christians will be happy to engage in the Christian dating holy pursuit.
Implied Guidelines: Firstly, it is important to understand that in the contemporary sense, the Bible does not discuss dating. In ancient times, most marriages were being arranged. Christians today should also focus their sexual relationship rules on marriage values in the Bible, and how one treats a single individual of the opposite sex.
Gender determines the marital relationship: Dating and marriage cannot be compared with each other. Sex is a sacred part of the marriage relationship in the Bible. Genesis 2:24 says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” One might even ask the difference between dating and marriage. Is it when they are committed emotionally to marry a person in their heart? Or is it during the wedding ceremony? Does pre-marital sex means marriage before God?
Those who wonder, “What Christian dating is ” ought to know that one’s view of the nature of sex will help determine whether or not a dating relationship would be considered “Christ-like.” Dating can be Christ-like if two individuals abstain from sex before marriage.
In reality, Paul urges Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:2, to treat younger women as sisters, with utter purity. Those who engage in Christian dating should want the best outcome for the person they are dating, whether they are getting married or not. The goal should be to present with a clear consciousness the person you are dating to their future partner, whether that person is you or not. At their wedding, you should be able to stand up and tell their future spouse that you have treated them in the holiest way possible, without any guilt or shame.
Christian dating is about God: The goal of Christian dating is not just about marriage. It is also about the relationship that one has with God. Every dating relationship should empower both partners to become closer to God. When a relationship draws a person away from God, it is a good indicator that it is not a Christian relationship. This is probably the key guideline of Christian dating. Forgetting this can lead people to attempt to follow confusing dating rules.
The Biblical Approach to Dating
A young single man who wanted to be married eventually came to our recent Annual Conference and enquired about the biblical view of dating, courtship, and seeking a spouse. He shared that many of his professed Christian friends and colleagues had married and played the game of dating before they “hit the jackpot” and met their spouses. I was able to bring to his knowledge that, as Christians, we must be careful not to follow the concepts and methods of dating and/or seeking a partner in the world even if those around us do so.
For any sincere, conscientious believer, the Bible provides authoritative guidance on how best to give the Lord glory in all areas of our lives.
Therefore, one Christian will look to God’s all-sufficient Word to figure out how best to glorify Him even in this region of his life.
“Isn’t our calling as single Christians centered on loving God and loving others? Shouldn’t we have Christ’s mind even while dating?”
The contemporary dating scene provides endless opportunities to meet opposite-sex members — who may or may not be a future partner in marriage.
The problem is, it is motivated by sheer desire and self-centeredness disproportionately and is always mentally, physically, and spiritually damaging to one or both parties.
And when you look at it through the prism of Scripture, the basic theory of modern dating is totally unbiblical in that it’s all about “playing the game” to discover “what one wants” in a partner, trying “to fulfill all my needs and desires,” and “to find the right person for me.”
Isn’t our duty to love God and love others, as single Christians? Do we not even have Christ’s eye when it comes to the issue of dating?
Christians that are single, who are more concerned with satisfying and glorifying God, should not be disturbed or led astray by the opinions of the world when it comes to seeking a helper. Although there is no actual formula per se as to how to proceed with the process, a believer should be prayerful, “…but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6).
In order to avoid playing the risky, sometimes futile, dating game and pursuing the sinful, self-centered impulses of one’s heart which are contrary to God’s will, it is very necessary to seek the Lord concerning a potential spouse. One should ask for a lot of grace, wisdom, and patience to meet another single, godly, opposite-sex. Zeal for Jesus and a desire to live according to God’s will must be number one from getting-go.
When choosing a partner, earnest Christians should consider, among others, these two passages of the Scripture which emphasize how necessary it is for any two Christians to be spiritually on the same page:
“Can two walk together unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
So as to prevent falling into a trap or being one another’s stumbling block, a single man, and woman must both be purposeful from the onset. This will serve as a guide to define clearly the nature of their relationship and the extent of their dedication to prayerfully finding and exploring the will of God for potential future marriage.
A telling question that Christians have to ask themselves over and over is, “what’s my motive” to do this or that? Is it my intention to honor and glorify God by serving others, or is it my motivation to get something for myself? Is my interest in dating to having fun and being entertained, or is it about glorifying God and serving others? Also, if you’re searching for your “soul mate” and someone you want to marry, is your aim more to find companionship, physical and emotional satisfaction, and social approval, or is it to serve and glorify the Lord?
Purity should be over emphasizes in dating. It must be the hallmark of any courtship between a Christian man and woman to be passionate about purity! On the journey of getting to know each other, great care must be taken to protect the heart of another — whether it ultimately leads to marriage or not. Solomon Song 2:7b warns, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires,”
Establishing strong physical and emotional boundaries will assist all parties to preserve their absolute integrity. 1st Timothy 5:2 instructs men to treat single women “with utter dignity” as sisters in Christ. In Paul ‘s letter to the Romans, he instructs Christians to act decently, to prevent sexual immorality, to be clothed with the Lord Jesus Christ, and to make no allowance for the flesh to satisfy its lusts. (Rom. 13 verses 13–14).
The Lord vows,”…seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33) In Psalms 37:4, He says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Just trust Him for this, and you will see the Lord bless you in ways you will never imagine or think.
The Blessing of Christian Dating
Christian dating has many benefits to it. One of the best advantages is to leave a connection with a simple consciousness. Sure, you can leave with a broken heart, but with needless stress or shame associated the romantic relationship, you should not leave.