AS A CHRISTIAN SHOULD I DATE A NON-CHRISTIAN?

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TEXT: Mark 8:34, Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 4:23.

CONFESSION: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

What You Must Know About Dating a Non-Christian

If the problem of dating occur among Christian teenagers, several questions are being asked: “Can I go out with a non-Christian?” most of the time, the typical verse used to answer this question is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, which says, ” Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?”

Knowing that you should not go out with a non-Christian is one thing, but understanding why the Lord does not want you to go out and marry a non-Christian is another. But what if an unbeliever ask you out on a date? let’s look at some of the reasons why you should resist this request.

Unevenly yoked (dating a non-Christian) can create a constant source of problems and arguments. A believer and an unbeliever are totally spiritually opposed, which can lead to some important differences in their values and the things they believe in. This has the potential to create an atmosphere of struggle rather than love that brings you into line with Proverbs 21:19, which says that it is, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman..”

We are told to guard our hearts above all else (Proverbs 4:23). However, unbelievers do not have the same moral standards that we as Christians do have. Being involved in a relationship with a non-Christian can expose you to a lot of headaches because their intentions can not be Godly.

 In 1 Corinthians 15:23, we are told that bad company corrupts good character. Just look at how Solomon’s wives turned his heart from the Lord in 1 Kings 11:4.

The Lord has a specific person for you. In 1John 4:16, we read that God is love, and from James 1:17, we know that God gives us good and perfect gifts, and Ephesians 3:20 says that we know God is able to do above and beyond all that we can ask or even think. When we apply these verses to our lives especially to dating and relationships, we will know that the Lord loves us and because of His love for us He will give us a perfect partner who is spiritually compatible with us. 

Dating can be difficult, particularly when religion is involved. Building a Christian home where traditions and unbelief runs deep in the veins of your partner might be difficult or rather impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying something is wrong with dating a non-Christian, but always remember your relationship must be Godly. If that’s understood and you’re really willing to accept and deal with the consequences, then you can go ahead. What I am trying to say so far is for you to be sure your spiritual life is not jeopardized.

What dilemmas would you face in the future? Can or will a non-Christian gradually pull you down? To remain attractive to your partner, do you compromise your values and beliefs; is that what you want for yourself? It shouldn’t even be an option to change anything you’ve built your life on because your beliefs and values is the result of who you are.

There might be problems with parenting your future kids together. What kind of foundation will you build their lives on? Will they be motivated to attend church services and follow your values and doctrine?, or will they be brought up in a constant tug-of-war? This circumstance would be averted if the two partners are of the same belief and doctrine. Once again, there are some exceptions.

We’ve all heard different stories of non-Christians who eventually turn their lives to God. They later got married having strong, happy relationships with Christ-centered values

Some can compromise and encourage their partner to worship and live in a way that suits them. As exciting as it sounds, it’s not always true. At some point, many couples that practices “dual-faith” in their relationship will eventually be lost in tension and pulse, forcing them to split or divorce.

It is believed that when meeting new people, to come across people you are compatible with will surely be challenging. 

Nevertheless, carefully consider the long run effect of any relationship you are planning to start. It is easy to fall in love, but it’s hard to walk away from the relationship as a result of contradicting belief.

The bottom line is that you have the freedom to date anyone but remember you are the architect of your own misfortune. No matter who you end up with, you surely will face life challenges. That’s the bitter truth. 

THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE DATING A NON-CHRISTIAN

Here are a few things to consider before you get into a serious relationship.

1. Am I in a stable place in my life?

This is a question you need to ask yourself before starting a relationship, especially with someone who doesn’t share your beliefs. If you are bored or unsure, don’t get involved. Otherwise, one day you will wake up and be neck-deep in a relationship that you started for the wrong reasons.

2. WILL MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD SUFFER?

How will this relationship affect your spiritual growth? Will you continue to feel committed to the same life of prayer, community, and church? If you feel that you have not been disciplined enough in your religious life, now is not the time to date a non-believer.

3. ARE WE ON THE SAME SIDE WITH PURITY?

As Christians, we view our body as the Holy Spirit’s temple and reserve the intimacy for marriage. Ensure that the other person knows how serious you are with these beliefs and that they are ready to meet the limits you set.

4. DO I FEEL THAT MY FAITH IS RESPECTED?

There is nothing worse than someone close to you seeing the God to whom you dedicate your life as a fairy tale. Make sure that he/she respects you and the beliefs that determine your life.

5. AM I HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING I BELIEVE?

When you meet someone for the first time, of course, do not say everything in the discussion phase. However, it is important that you do not to hide or ridicule what your belief implies, no matter how countercultural it sounds.

6. WILL HE/SHE BE WILLING TO GO TO THE CHURCH OR THE BIBLE STUDY WITH ME?

Since your potential date is not a Christian, you cannot expect them to believe or understand your faith as you do. However, the willingness to go to church with you shows the desire to understand them and the openness to learn more about the faith.

7. HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT MY CHILDREN WHO HAVE A NON-BELIEVING AS ONE OF THEIR PARENT?

You probably think, “Whoa! Slow!” However, dating is the forerunner of marriage. You might be embarrassed to ask this question from the outset.However, it is best to delete them before you get too involved.

8. WHAT ARE YOUR PARTNER’S THOUGHTS ABOUT THE PARTICIPATION OF YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN IN CHURCH ACTIVITIES? 

This is another uncomfortable question that you should be willing to bring to the table.

9. DOES YOUR PARTNER SEE FAITH ONLY AS AN INTEREST OTHER THAN A WAY OF LIFE?

While we don’t expect our partner to have the same interests as we do, faith is not just an interest but a way of life. When we meet other believers, there is an automatic connection. Do you feel lonely if you don’t share this connection with your potential partner? Ultimately, it is important to pray, pray, and pray, no matter what kind of relationship you are engaged in. 

God will answer you in any case, especially if you are open to listening to every answer that He could give. Always remember that the Heavenly Father appreciates you and that he has a plan for your well-being and happiness.

Should a Christian marry an unbeliever? In a society where people can have hundreds of online friends from all over the world, it can still be difficult to find close, personal relationships in real life. Sometimes it feels like a miracle when we meet someone we really connect with, who likes us, likes to spend time with us, and makes us feel valued. When this magic happens, it can be easy to overlook differences that don’t seem to be directly related to your relationship. More and more Christians who are eager to get married are ready to overlook differences or belief.

It is possible to have a loving relationship with an unbeliever. But it is also inevitable that such a close connection alienates believers from God (1 Corinthians 15:33). Dating or marrying an unbeliever will apparently solve many problems, including loneliness, perceived cultural pressure, and the fear of ending up alone. However, the solution comes with a lot of downsides.

Some will list things like parenting decisions, financial decisions, church participation, and holiday traditions as areas of tension between a believing spouse and an unbelieving spouse. Of course, there can be tension areas, even in almost any marriage, regardless of belief. The biblical prohibition of marrying an unbeliever is not intended to prevent believers from having an unpleasant marriage or marital disagreement. The believers in Jesus Christ are spiritually alive. They are citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20). They know God and have a growing relationship with Him. They are called to make sacrifices and live their lives to please God (Romans 12: 1–2; Colossians 3: 1–17). Unbelievers are still slaves to sin (Romans 6: 6–11). The entire basis of life for believers and unbelievers is the opposite. It is not advisable to voluntarily become as one with someone who is spiritually dead.

How can we confess to love God and not obey His clearly defined mandate? How can we claim to love our spouse and not seem to care about their eternal salvation? How can we turn our relationship with Jesus Christ into mere religion and pretend that it is a cultural barrier that can be overcome?

When life of a single becomes difficult, and marriage to a non-Christian seems to be the only way out of singleness, it is essential to decide what is most important. If it is of paramount importance to follow Christ and serve Him in all circumstances, the decision is easy: (2 Corinthians 6:14 (Romans 8:28) (Ephesians 3:20). Trust that He will meet your needs because he is the all sufficient God. If you are choosing to go out or marry a non-Christian without the approval of God it means that you have rejected God. You are clearly stating that “God is not enough.” And you may be giving up God’s plan for a divine relationship that awaits you if you patiently wait for His will concerning your life.

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